Growing up, I was an active member of my local boy scout troop. There were about 30 of us rowdy boys, each more eager to go on camping adventures than we were to spend time earning more meaningful merit badges like “Communication” and “Citizenship.”
Every one of us had personality quirks and individual interests. We were immensely lucky to have an amazing Scoutmaster, one who saw the potential in each of us uniquely, and nursed it by way of his keen awareness of each boys’ needs, hopes, strengths, and weaknesses. This was no ordinary man – he was truly a good leader and a compassionate father-type in every way the troop needed him to be. This awareness he showed at every meeting and outing was by far his most impactful character quality.
He looked us each in the eyes when he spoke to us, as if we were the only person in the world that mattered in that moment. He gave teaching examples in multiple formats to accommodate our varied learning styles. He could manage our excitability (and orneriness) to help us accomplish a goal instead of just goofing off. He empowered us to be our best selves, encouraging us to practice the 12 character points of the Scout Law – “A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.” All of this was due to his awareness of us, and awareness that felt above all else like simple kindness.
Not all troops are so lucky to have a leader like this. For that matter, not all schools, businesses, service groups, healthcare agencies, etc. are so lucky to have a leader like this. Some of these teams are downright cursed with ignorant and power-hungry people who are only aware of themselves. A lack of awareness of self and others can poison one’s ability to express true kindness.
True kindness seeks out ways to help. True kindness can anticipate what the “greater good” is and will be, in any given situation. True kindness cares about feelings and desires that aren’t its own. True kindness works hard to be in the moment, and to be intentional. True kindness is aware of others and of oneself.
How aware are you of yourself? Do you know what your emotions feel like in your body, especially the more difficult ones to express like anger, defense and sadness? When do you react instead of respond? What are your internal biases that need to be course-corrected? How are you most triggered?
How aware of others are you? What is your significant other’s favorite meal, favorite music, favorite TV show, or favorite treat? Do you remember your colleagues’ birthdays? How often do you simply sit next to your kid(s) and listen to them talk – about whatever they want to talk about, event the uninteresting and unimportant stuff? When your in-law gets antsy at the holiday party, do you have any idea why, or is it just your assumption?
Awareness of ourselves and of others is the key to unlocking true kindness. When we intentionally practice awareness moment to moment, it becomes more second nature, and kindness soon follows. Try practicing it this week!
-Written by Chase Cotten, Community Director
