Do you remember one of your earliest birthday parties with family and friends? I can remember it to this day. I was turning 4 years old, and my party was baseball themed. My dad grilled hotdogs and my mom made a soon-to-be-my-favorite pistachio cake. This was the first time they let me invite friends to a party, so I got to ask all of my new tee-ball buddies to join us. I remember receiving my “big gift” – a new real-leather baseball mitt, and playing catch with my dad. (I also remember getting my first bloody nose when a wild-hare toss hit me right in the face! Whoops!) Above all these memories, though, I remember the utter joy of feeling so celebrated with my family and my friends singing “Happy Birthday” to me when the candle-lit cake was brought out. It was a blast!
Aside from weddings, baby showers, and the occasional surprise party, we don’t often celebrate each other this way as adults. We might go out for dinner every once in awhile and watch a big game, or treat a friend to ice cream here and there. But other than that, it’s usually just the same-ol’, same-ol’ week to week. Maybe the allure of being the center of attention loses its value to us. Or, could it be that we have just forgotten the joy of celebrating each other?
There is a growing body of research that suggests celebrating with each other encourages our brains to release endorphins which are hormones that can reduce feelings of stress, increase positive interpersonal connection, and even improve productivity. Something as short and simple as a round of applause for someone at work who did a job well-done can trigger these positive brain-outcomes. In one recent study, celebrating with your significant other was shown to provide stronger foundations for healthy conflict whenever it arises. There have even been studies that show that soccer and basketball teammates who celebrate together after scoring are much more likely to score again and/or win the game than those who don’t celebrate enough. How cool is that?!
Of course, being celebrated is super fun (for most of us). But even better than being celebrated is celebrating someone else. Writing a card to encourage your friend; throwing a lunch-break party to congratulate your colleague on a promotion; taking the kids to Chuck-E-Cheese for no other reason than it’s a Thursday night and you love them; buying yourself that delicious frozen coffee drink on the way home after a long day; having a little dance-break with your partner after finishing the chores together for the evening – whatever the occasion, no matter how mundane, celebrating each other is good for our brains and good for our relationships.
Don’t let the little wins just pass you by this week. Celebrate them! Start by celebrating your own wins. Then celebrate your friends, family members, and colleague’s wins. Make “no big deal” a big deal instead – get the party streamers, turn on the music, and make that cake. Celebrating each other makes the world a better place. Try it today – you’ll be glad you did!
