Let’s be honest with ourselves: unrealized expectations temper nearly every activity, relationship, and area of our lives. We carry expectations inside that can either lead to positive motivations and optimism, or to perpetual heartbreaks and pessimism.
This is particularly true for our journeys of wellness. The way we take care of ourselves (or don’t) is directly related to how we expect the process of self-care to work. For example:
- A person who is doing their best to get more exercise each week may expect the desire to workout to come more naturally after the first two or three sessions instead of it feeling like a chore. They will soon learn that physical activity requires deliberate discipline and daily commitment no matter how far along someone is.
- A person who is working through feelings of loneliness and isolation may expect their feelings to improve immediately upon joining a game-night club at their local church. They will soon learn that building relationships and developing trust requires mutual vulnerability cultivated over a long period of time.
- A person who is newly sober may expect the cravings to simply disappear after a certain number of sober-days are under their belt. They will soon learn that cravings never go away fully, which is why it is essential to have communal support and prevention plans.
- A person who is two weeks into taking a new medication to treat their depression and anxiety may expect to feel better relatively quickly without any changes to their daily life. They will soon learn that managing depression and anxiety symptoms often requires counseling and intentional behavioral routines in addition to medicinal care.
We could each do ourselves a favor by acknowledging and editing our expectations before, during, and after these points in our journeys. One of the easiest ways to do this is by jotting down on a piece of paper your “hopes”, “goals”, and feelings about a step you are about to take. (These are all buzzwords that could be masking deeper seated expectations that you are trying to meet.) Then, review them with honest and compassionate eyes. Are they realistic? Are they achievable? Do you have the support you need to take these steps?
If you or someone you know needs support to take the next healthiest step in their wellness journey, please reach out to The Willow Center. We are here for you!
Written by Chase Cotten, Community Director
