What kind of partner are you? A better way to ask this question is, “what is it like to be on the receiving end of you in a relationship?” We are often unaware of how we come off to people around us, let alone those we may consider true, close partners in our lives. We often give our inner voices a lot of time and space to convince us that there’s nothing we need to improve upon. More than likely, though, there are at least a few areas that could use our attention. Here are 5 simple recommendations of how you could be a better partner to the people in your life that you are closest to.
1) Listen more actively. This could be the most important recommendation of this list. Active listening is an essential skill for partnerships. This skill includes facing the person your with, opening up your body language, closing your mouth, putting your phone away, making eye contact, and responding in turn without interrupting. Feeling heard builds trust, and communicates that you really do care, even when things are hard.
2) Give the benefit of the doubt. You will mess up. Your friend, colleague, or significant other will mess up. Try not to assume the worst about the other person, even when they may offend you. Assuming the worst builds contempt, which ultimately can end a relationship. (Of course, if there is real harm being done to you, though, please prioritize your safety and health above all else).
3) Celebrate others’ wins. When your friend, colleague, or significant other accomplishes something awesome or receives some sort of recognition for their hard work, celebrate them! Don’t just give a pat on the back. Throw a party instead. Even if you wish it was your win (because who doesn’t, right?), lift them up. This kind of support is rare.
4) Protect your time. To put it simply, partners do stuff together. Think about creating some more margin in your schedule to ensure there is time for each other. Time is your most precious resource. Go out to eat! Watch a movie or play a board game. Go for a walk together around the block during your lunch break. Whatever activity you choose, be sure to reserve and defend this time from the multiple items on your to-do list that could encroach upon it.
5) Be assertive. Being a good partner has nothing to do with being a doormat. Communicate your needs, your thoughts, and your feelings as clearly as you can – especially during conflict when it arises. Assertive communication can prevent a multitude of blow-ups, passive aggressions, and misunderstandings. Every partnership is a two-way investment, so be sure to be aware of what you are putting in and getting out of it.
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, partnerships experience conflict that cannot be repaired alone. If you need support working through this conflict for yourself, or support for any other life challenges, please reach out to The Willow Center at 317-852-3690. Our team is ready to help, and will meet you wherever you are at in your journey.
Written by Chase Cotten, Community Director
