American painter and author, Walter Inglis Anderson, is quoted as saying, “Our lives improve only when we take chances – and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.”
As “risky” as being honest with ourselves might feel, it pales in comparison to the risk of saying and perpetuating dishonest things like:
- “I’ve totally got my drinking under control, it’s no big deal.”
- “I’m sure I will feel less anxious soon, it’s just a season.”
- “Nobody will ever understand how or why I feel this way.”
- “This is the last time I’ll do this, I promise.”
- “It’s better for me to just grit my teeth and bare it.”
Have you ever found yourself thinking one of these thoughts to yourself in order to justify your own suffering or your own needs for improvement? Each of these is almost always a lie, depending on context, but we don’t register it as lying to ourselves. Each of these also carries risk to our health and to others’ health.
In most cases, getting honest is the first step to getting help. There are dozens of cultural tropes and societal expectations that may lead us to avoid honesty, but ultimately the avoidance always catches up with us. Whether it’s your first DUI, missing an important family event due to depression, or even your worst fight with your partner due to your anxieties about a hypothetical future – the honesty comes one way or another.
Wouldn’t it be better if we got honest with ourselves and with each other before one of these negative life-changing events occurs? Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it feels vulnerable. But yes, it will lead to more positive outcomes than believing lies will.
Honesty cannot just remain a buzzword we use to describe our core values on dating apps and business websites alike. It must be a daily commitment, something we practice both internally and externally for the sake of our wellness.
If you or someone you know is struggling to get honest about a difficult situation or about difficult symptoms, please know that The Willow Center team is here for you and ready to help.
Written by Chase Cotten, Community Director
