In the late 1990s, the CDC partnered with Kaiser Permanente to complete a history and health study of several thousand average adults, centered upon any occurrence of “Adverse Childhood Experiences” (or ACEs for short) in their pasts. The results of the study were totally staggering. Almost every adult had experienced at least 1 ACE in their life. And, the more ACEs a person had experienced, the worse physical and mental health outcomes they had as an adult.
ACEs include but are not limited to: physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical or emotional neglect, having a parent or family member who suffers from addiction or mental illness, having a parent or family member who is incarcerated, having parents who are divorced, witnessing violence in the home or in the community, losing a loved one, experiencing racism and other discrimination, and experiencing environmental hardships like moving homes or communities.
In other words, the study showed that experiencing trauma as a kid directly correlated to higher rates of depression, anxiety, addiction, heart problems, cancer incidence rates, relationship problems, and more. Subsequent studies have shown that the number one way to prevent ACEs from occurring and to build resilience against negative trauma responses even when an ACE does occur is for a child to have at least one loving and caring adult in their life who supports them.
Most of us reading this are already adults! We may have grown up without the kind of love and care we needed as kids to prevent some of the hardships we are now experiencing. However, there is good news: it’s never too late to build your resilience. There are several activities you can practice to help you adapt and respond to whatever difficulties come your way.
According to the Mayo Clinic, three ways you can build resilience are:
- Connect. Be intentional about repairing any broken relationships, and fostering healthy ones. Having a few supportive family members or friends in your life that love you as you are is essential.
- Learn. Everybody makes mistakes and has setbacks. Try journaling about one or two things you can learn from the most recent low point, and how you feel you can practice what you have learned, to prevent it from happening again in the future.
- Care. Care for yourself first and foremost. If you feel triggered by something, don’t wait around — reach out for help and support immediately. Practice self-care activities on a daily basis to help manage your stress in a healthy way. Find something that adds meaning to your day, such as a creative outlet or an exercise that you can do every single day.
Putting these things into practice will not only build your resilience against whatever current difficulties you may be experiencing, but also will help you build hope for the future. Ultimately, resilience and hope go hand-in-hand — you cannot have one without the other. It’s not too late for you, and there is no shame in asking for help when you need it! As you build your own resilience, you will also find yourself in a position to help others build their resilience. Whether its your own kids, your niece or nephew, your best friend, your work colleague — you can become the source of love and support they need in tough times.
