Many of us have a difficult time living in the present moment. We spend a lot of time preoccupied with thoughts about the past or with thoughts about the future. Oftentimes, these thoughts are accompanied by negative emotions such as regret and shame or anxiety and fear.
I cannot pretend to have a magic answer on how to help us stay more in the present. It’s tough! Of course, there are great ways to practice such as mindfulness meditations, journaling, hands-on hobbies or activities, playing with our kiddos, eating a delicious meal, and more. But these are typically just temporary respites from the internal dialogue of “what-ifs” and “could’ve-should’ve-would’ve.” There’s no realistic way to totally turn off our minds’ preoccupation with the past and the future.
This being said, we can still rescue the past and the future in our minds from negativity by being more intentional! By observing the internal thoughts and the emotions we have from a third-person perspective without judgement toward ourselves, we can actually integrate some choice into the equation. We can choose how to “log” these thoughts and emotions, and how to respond to them in turn. Here are a few simple suggestions on how to do this.
Rescuing the Past:
- We can choose to log: “I can’t believe I did that” as “I have grown so much since I did that” instead.
- We can choose to log: “They were such a jerk to me” as “I’m proud of the boundaries I’ve set for myself” instead.
- We can choose to log: “I should’ve taken that opportunity” as “I’ve made so much of the opportunities I’ve chosen” instead.
Rescuing the Future:
- We can choose to log: “What if this goes wrong” as “I know how I will handle it if things don’t go as planned” instead.
- We can choose to log: “Will things ever change” as “I’ve witnessed and experienced much change before, and I anticipate this will change too” instead.
- We can choose to log: “I hope they respond positively to me” as “No matter what response I receive, I will not take it personally” instead.
This thought and emotion rescuing takes practice! But with a little bit more intention, and by taking a little bit more time to observe our internal dialogues, we will make a difference for our mental health.
If your internal dialogue feels out of control, The Willow Center can help. Call us at 317-852-3690.writing your story here.
-Written by Chase Cotten, Community Director
