Imagine you are playing a video game or board game with a friend, and the instructions clearly give each of you a role to play in the game: your friend is the proverbial “good guy”, and you are assigned the “bad guy” role. You read through your character’s description and see words like “angry”, “vengeful”, “deceitful”, “desperate”, and “loathsome”. Throughout the game, you each have different choices presented to you that dictate the actions of your characters. Since you know your character’s role, what choices are you more likely to make? You’ll probably make the mean and nasty choices, based on your character’s narrative. What if you were able to change the narrative, though? What if you added the phrase “occasional potential to be kind-hearted” to your character’s description? Science says you’d be more likely to make a kind-hearted choice.
This game-character metaphor is a great tool to help us understand the power of what we think about and say to ourselves. To put it most simply, if we believe and say negative things about ourselves, we will feel and act more negatively; however, if we believe and say positive things about ourselves, we will feel and act more positively.
One of the earliest and best scientific studies about this phenomenon is the Self-Affirmation Theory study completed by Claude Steele in the 1980s. According to Steele’s theory, our self-talk/self-esteem mechanisms are activated whenever we feel our personal integrity or adequacy being threatened by someone or something. By practicing “self-affirmations”, speaking and thinking positive messages toward ourselves, we are better able to cope with these threats to our self-image, and ultimately have higher self-esteem and better outcomes.
If you’re anything like me, its at this point in the article that you may start feeling skeptical. So, for the skeptics, here are some more scientific conclusions about the power of self-affirmations:
- “Self-affirmations have been shown to decrease health-deteriorating stress.” (Sherman et al., 2009; Critcher & Dunning, 2015). “Self-affirmation has been demonstrated to lower stress and rumination.” (Koole et al., 1999; Wiesenfeld et al., 2001)
- “They can make us less likely to dismiss harmful health messages, responding instead with the intention to change for the better,” (Harris et al., 2007) and “more likely to eat more fruit and vegetables.” (Epton & Harris, 2008)
- “They have been linked positively to academic achievement by mitigating GPA decline in students who feel left out at college.” (Layous et al., 2017)
- “In terms of reducing negative thoughts, affirmations have been shown to help with the tendency to linger [less] on negative experiences.” (Wiesenfeld et al., 2001)
- “Research done at the University of Arizona determined affirmations can be useful as a supplement [to] treatment for many depressed and/or anxious patients.”
I recommend you keep it simple. Once or twice per day, close your eyes and think about a phrase that aligns with your core values, but challenges you to think more positively about yourself, and repeat it a few times silently in your mind. It could be something broad like “I am worthy of being loved, and I am good enough as I am,” or something more specific to the roles you play in your life like “I am the best mother I can be, and I will not compare myself to others.” Try it for one week. If that goes well, make it a habit for the next month. I am confident it will have positive effects for you, as it has for me!
