In one of my favorite songs, “Thrive” by the band Switchfoot, the bandleader sings, “I wanna thrive not just survive.” This sentiment resonates with me. At different points in my life, whether due to internal feelings or external circumstances, I have gotten stuck in “survival” mode, forgetting altogether about what it feels like to thrive, and what it has to do with my baseline mindset.
For those of us who have experienced mental health or addiction problems, “thriving” sometimes feels like a privilege reserved for everyone else in the world but us. Survival is all we know: just trying to make it through the day without a panic attack; just trying to make it through the day without a trigger or craving; just trying to make it through the day without feeling depressed. Moment to moment, our thoughts are preoccupied with the avoidance of something negative, whether or not it’s happening right now.
Let’s do a thought exercise to give us some examples.
- Surviving Mindset: “Gosh, I’d feel so much better after a drink or two, just to escape a bit.”
- Thriving Mindset: “I have everything I need already to feel better, even if this moment is hard.”
- Surviving Mindset: “I’d give anything for it to be the weekend already, I can’t stand how this week is dragging on.”
- Thriving Mindset: “This week definitely feels long, but I’m really glad I have a job right now so I can afford to enjoy my weekend.”
- Surviving Mindset: “I know I’ll be happier if I can just get the kids fed and to bed on time without losing my temper.”
- Thriving Mindset: “I love having this evening time together with my kids, even when they’re energy tests me sometimes.”
By practicing the thoughts of a thriving mindset a little bit every day, whether internally or as a journaling exercise, our brains and bodies will slowly but surely adapt. We will start to feel better. Our thinking will be a little bit clearer. Our emotions will be a little bit more manageable. Our symptoms will be a little bit less severe. We may even find that the act of willful transition is itself a step toward health and wellness in our life!
