In some cultures and traditions, we are taught to trust our gut instincts. In others, we are taught that our instincts can’t always be trusted.
Personally, I’ve always found it challenging to tell the difference between what can be trusted and what can’t whenever my belly gets the rumbles. (“Should I quit this hobby forever, or do I just need a snack?”) Which feeling is an impulse? Which feeling is an instinct?
As I’ve pondered the solution to this dilemma, I’ve come to a couple conclusions.
- Impulses tend to be more about wants, while instincts tend to be more about needs.
- Impulses tend to welcome negative consequences, while instincts tend to prevent negative consequences.
I’m certain these conclusions are not completely objective – likely our lived experiences, identities, and environments play a role. However, there are many examples that suggest they contain some universality.
For example, a person who is struggling with alcohol use may have an impulse to drink which causes them to feel sick when they are withdrawing. The impulse to drink feels strong like an instinct, but we don’t “need” alcohol and it leads towards all kinds of negativity: poorer physical and mental health symptoms, potential danger to self and others, etc.
Whereas this person may also have an instinct to belong to their group of friends who also drinks. This instinct to belong is at its foundation a good, human instinct. We need connection with others biologically and psychosocially, and having friendships typically leads towards better decision-making, better mental and physical health, etc.
Here’s a bonus conclusion: impulses can be controlled, while instincts typically cannot be controlled. With this in mind, it’s even more important for us to learn the difference between how impulses and instincts feel in our bodies and minds. Confusing the two can cause us and our community undue troubles.
If you or someone you know needs help controlling impulses and leaning into positive instincts for better mental health, please know The Willow Center team is here for you.
Written by Chase Cotten, Community Director at The Willow Center
